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| December/January 2006
Vol.18, No. 1
Lesbian Literature Group
The Lesbian Literature Group meets the 3rd Wednesday of the month at TCC at 7:30. Each month the group discusses a previously chosen novel and most of the them are either written by Lesbians or have Lesbian content. They range from fiction, biographies to mysteries and romance. The group has also been known to have discussions about current events and share their own personal poetry and writings. This fun and outgoing group is always open to ideas or book suggestions. All are welcome to come down even if you have not finished or read the book. Join us! For more information please contact Marlene Leja at ml3017@hotmail.com or call (203)526-0824.
Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 5:00 pm*
Fated Love by Radclyff
 “When Quinn Maguire, a dashing young trauma surgeon, unaccountably accepts a position as an ER physician, her new boss, Honor Blake, suspects that Quinn is hiding a dark secret. While the two declare an uneasy truce in an effort to work together, both struggle with mutual, and unexpected, attraction. Honor, however, has more than one reason to resist her growing feelings for the attractive newcomer, not the least of which is that her heart belongs to the woman whose wedding ring she wears. Amidst the chaos and drama of a busy emergency room, Quinn and Honor must contend not only with the fragile nature of life, but also with the mysteries of the heart and the irresistible forces of fate.”
*Note date & time change. The meeting place will be determined. Please check the TCC website for further details: www.ctgay.org
Wednesday January 18, 2006 - 7:30 pm
Aimee and Jaquar by Erica Fischer, Edna McCown (Translator)
 “Unique, moving, and true—this radiant love story is set against the horrific backdrop of World War II Nazi Germany. When Lilly “Aimee” Wust, a gentile mother of four and wife of a Nazi officer, met Felice “Jaguar” Schragenheim, a Jew living underground in Berlin, neither could have guessed that their brief initial encounter would develop into a blazing, devoted love. As the Nazi stranglehold closed in on them, Lilly and Felice found themselves fighting insurmountable odds to stay together. Extraordinarily passionate and heartrending, this is a rare and personal look at the love and strength of two women whose commitment to each other defied the brutality of their time.”
Women Dating Event - Saturday, December 3, 7:45pm-10pm
A Danish, a Dame, a Date-Dating Event for Single Gay Gals 40+ 50+. $23 Pre-registered or $25 Door. Spark Cafe 161 W 22 (bet. 7th & 8th ave). Includes danish, refreshments, a wonderful hostess & door prizes.
Outrageously fun way to meet lots of hip, happening & vibrant women one on one in mini dates lasting about 5 minutes each. Facilitated by hilarious comedian Marilyn, this is one of the most fun, relaxed, and entertaining dating events you will ever attend. Find out why this non intimidating event is one of the best alternatives to the bar scene. This event attracts real people. No blasting music or alcohol. You are notified the next day. Great success rate. No age turned away. Safety guidlines, structured. You DO NOT stand up in front of crowd and talk about yourself. Must pre-register to guarantee a spot. 212-989-8549 or www.nyclavenderlounge.com
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Take oodles of odd little men, add endless hours slaving in a stuffy workshop for a fat old holiday taskmaster and baby, you’re sitting on a powderkeg!
It’s Spring Break at the North Pole as the CGMC presents its holiday extravaganza Elves Gone Wild! You’ll enjoy traditional carols of the season in beautiful new arrangements and the outrageous comedy of our own Connecticut elves. Along the way expect a torch song from Laura Bush, a visit from fairy godmother Jodi Rell, and a probing look at the inner lives of giant dancing Candy Canes. We will also pay tribute to our friends who will be celebrating Civil Unions this fall as we invite them to join us onstage for a holiday serenade.
Yuletide cheer and old-fashioned silliness unite in the joyous romp that is Elves Gone Wild!, our warmest and funniest holiday show.
Danbury: White Hall, WCSU
Saturday, December 3, 2005 at 8 pm
New Haven: Shubert Theater,
Saturday, December 10, 2005 at 8 pm
Hartford: Belding Theater
Sunday, December 11, 2005 at 7 pm
Stamford: Stamford Center for the Arts
Sunday, December 18, 2005 at 7 pm |
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The Very First Day
By Julie Weisberg
 Tears were in the eyes of Barbara LeCornec as she watched her friends, a gay couple together for more than seven years, become one of the first to enter into a civil union in the state of Connecticut on the morning of Saturday, Oct. 1.
“This is such an emotional time,” LeCornec said with a soft smile, standing proudly in the foyer of the Stamford City Hall and looking on as the city’s mayor, Dannel Malloy, presided over her friends’ civil union ceremony. “Those are my boys.”
LeCornec and her longtime partner Maureen Boylan, as well as dozens of gay and lesbian couples, entered into civil unions around Connecticut, as the statebecame only the second in the country, after Vermont, to allow same-sex civil unions – and the first to extend civil union rights to its gay and lesbian residents without external pressure from the courts.
Many couples waited in line Saturday morning to obtain and register their civil unions, as a handful of the state’s town clerk’s offices, the majority of which are closed on the weekend, opened up specifically to allow gays and lesbians to obtain and register their civil unions on the first day the law went into effect, Saturday, Oct. 1.
 Laura DeNardis and Deborah Smith began waiting in line at the Stamford Town Clerk’s Office just before the office opened at 9 am. The lesbian couple, who have been together for 15 years, moved to Connecticut from Virginia in June, specifically to gain the ability to enter into a same-sex civil union.
“We felt that it was necessary to move and make a statement,” DeNardis explained, just before the mayor unionized the couple at city hall. “We decided to take our tax dollars elsewhere. And so now we are paying higher taxes in Connecticut – but it is worth it.”
And, although the two were married several years ago in a private, religious ceremony, that event did not afford the women any additional rights and responsibilities in the eyes of the state, local or federal government.
Stamford Mayor Dannel Malloy, a Democrat hoping to retain his seat in this November’s municipal elections, presided over a handful of civil union ceremonies Saturday morning at city hall. Malloy, who has also thrown his hat into the state’s gubernatorial race ring, said he would also preside over private ceremonies later that day.
“The law has changed and people now have a set of rights, and I support that, and I have demonstrated my support of that, and will continue to do so today, and I am honored to be asked to perform some ceremonies,” Malloy said shortly before he began unionizing gay and lesbian couples. “Some of these people are my friends.”
 According to a civil unions primer put together by Love Makes a Family (LMF) and GLAD, and posted on LMF’s Web site, a Connecticut civil union gives same-sex couples “automatic inclusion within and under hundreds of Connecticut state laws that apply to married spouses, family and next of kin.”
“(But) while civil unions will provide important protections within Connecticut, many lawyers are recommending that when you leave the state, you should take legal documents (e.g. medical power of attorney) with you since it is likely that your civil union will not be recognized,” LMF states in its document.
Because of this lack of federal recognition, Michael Spiegelman-Fishman, and his partner, Chris Fishman-Spiegelman, decided not only to enter into a civil union last Saturday morning – they were the first to be unionized in Stamford by the mayor – but the gay couple also changed their names to help side-step any problems they could have when they travel out of the state – or if they choose to adopt child.
And, many gays and lesbians said Saturday the state law was a big step in the right direction, and may one day lead to federal recognition of same-sex partnerships. One of those couples was George Wagner and George Hellyer, who, after 13 years together, decided they had waited long enough to make their partnership official in the eyes of the state. So, the middleaged gay couple decided they would be among the first in the state to enter into a civil union, waiting in line for the Stamford Town Clerk’s office to open Saturday.
 “There are economic issues that we have been unable to take advantage of until now, all of the rights associated with marriage that we have had to (create) with legal documents in the past.” Wagner said, as he sat and waited with his partner. “Certainly, while this is not the end of the road, it is progress. Right now, civil unions are only for states, but my hope is that one day the federal government will recognize it. But, I think that is pretty far off.”
For support, Hellyer’s 79-year-old mother, Mildred, was also at Stamford City Hall Saturday morning to provide love and encouragement for her son and his new spouse. She had come all the way from Long Island to be there.
“And my husband would have been here but he wasn’t feeling well,” she said, wearing a colorful dress and holding a flower in her hand.
Wagner added, however, that there was still one problem he had with the new civil union law. “Now we have to get used to a new anniversary,” he said and the couple laughed.
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Maureen & Barbara’s Civil Union Wedding
October 1, 2005
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If you would like News & Views to print the story of your Civil Union send your article to our post office box or email to www.tcceditor@aol.com. | As our wedding day was fast approaching, there was much excitement in the air as we were the ones this time around doing all the planning, from the menu selections, to decorations, to the guest list and flowers, etc. We were very excited and thrilled with all the publicity we have received from being interviewed on News Channel 4, the NY Times, WCBS Talk Radio, News Channel 12, The Stamford Advocate, Metroline Magazine, Gay City News in NY, and PageQ a NYC based magazine. We were getting contacted left and right and it was a thrill and a bit apprehensive at first, but Barbara and I decided to do these interviews hopefully educating the public about civil rights and about our union and what it means to us. We believe in anything for the cause.
 Our day started off going to Stamford city hall at 9 am and being one of the first couples to get a Civil Union license and getting sworn in. Barbara and I started to cry as we witnessed Chris S. and Mike F. pledging their vows as the first couple in Stamford to be married by Mayor Dan Malloy. In attendance was also Congressman Chris Shays. There were 7 other couples waiting excitedly to get married if front of their families and loved ones.
The day was a picture perfect, sunny 77 degree day as we were getting married at our house overlooking the Long Island sound by our very own Stamford Mayor Dan Malloy at 5 pm. Barbara had made a 6ft. archway made out of white tool, ivory and peach color roses as we stood in the archway reciting our vows to one another withh my little cousin Sophia playing flower girl and ring bearer. In attendance were 73 family members and friends who made our day truly wonderful and special, thanks Maureen & Margaret, Marlene & Sandra for coming and sharing in our day.
After we said our vows, the party continued with cocktails and hors d’ouerves at poolside and upstairs in the clubhouse. Dinner was served shortly there after with dancing and dessert soon following. I must say some of our card poker girlfriends were still dancing on the tables til the very end. Barbara and I are truly blessed with the family and friends that we have, who have supported us each and every step of the way, to make this day possible and we can’t thank you enough with all our heart. We are two souls who have found each other to become one… Maureen & Barbara
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Committee and Volunteer Opportunities
 Please contact Joe at joeguttadauro@sbcglobal.net for additional information about the opportunities listed below. No prior experience needed. We will tailor the opportunities to match your skills, time commitment and interests. Come join the fun and help to keep the TCC the hub of activity for the LGBT community.
Special Events and Programming Committee
Responsible for evaluating and producing educational, social, sporting, outreach and fund-raising events for TCC. Includes the following sub committees Pride, Festivus and The Play.
Responsible for scheduling, coordinating TCC’s programming calendar. Works with publicity committee to promote events. Defines event budgets and reviews them with the TCC treasurer. Works with volunteer coordinator to staff events. Works to ensure TCC is the hub of LGBT cultural events in Fairfield County. Meets quarterly with board liaison.
Policies and Process Committee
Works to ensure TCC bylaws are up to date. Ensures TCC’s policies and procedures are documented, followed and clearly communicated. Works with TCC secretary to ensure documentation is archived. Meets with board liaison.
Communications Committee
Fosters the TCC’s relationship with the media. Includes the following sub committees website, newsletter and brand identity.
Brand Identity sub committee works towards ensuring TCC brand is consistently communicated. Regularly reviews brand identity as a group. Ensures media lists are updated. Helps to publicize TCC events through press releases. Meets quarterly with a board liaison.
Finance Committee
Works to ensure that the TCC remains financially stable. Includes the following sub committees:
Advertising – handles advertising for newsletter and website. Pursues advertisers and keeps billing current.
Grant Writing – actively looks for and applies for grants.
Sponsorship - Promotes TCC. Actively looks for sponsorship opportunities for the TCC.
Scholarship – Review application process, application and applicants for the TCC scholarship on a yearly basis. Makes yearly recommendations of award recipients. Meets quarterly with a board liaison and the TCC treasurer.
TCC Coordinators
Membership Coordinator – Helps to maintain membership database. Ensures dues and memberships are up to date.
Volunteer Coordinator – works with the TCC board of directors to maintain and current volunteers. Works with committee chairs to ensure volunteer opportunities are identified and filled.
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Two Days Gay
Tuesdays and Saturdays there’s a place to meet or just have fun. it’s called the Nugget Cafe and it’s located on 40 Van Zant St. East Norwalk Ct . Happy Hour during the week runs from 5 to 7. Meetings or get togethers are welcome. For any questions please call Jody at 857- 0550.
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Womyn’s Social Group
FRIDAY DECEMBER 9, 2005 - 7:30 pm at TCC Please join the next TCC Womyn’s Social as we all go to Festivus. Any questions, please email Marlene Leja ml3017@hotmail.com or (203) 526-0824.
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It’s Time for Gay Conservatives to Come Out
By Patrick Guerriero, President Log Cabin Republican
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Upcoming Meetings
We invite you to come to our monthly support meetings. We share our stories in a safe welcoming environment and promise strict confidentiality. We meet the first Wednesday of every month at 7:30 P.M. at the Triangle Community Center in Norwalk. For directions, log on to www.ctgay.org. Any questions? Sandy (203) 226-0257, Joan (203) 438-0530 or email pflagswct@yahoo.com. Mark your calendar for the next three meetings: Wednesdays - Dec. 7th, Jan. 4th | This critical moment in the history of the LGBT movement’s fight for equality demands that a new generation of Americans come out of the closet — gay conservatives. Now is the time for closeted gay conservatives to find the courage and personal strength to stand up and be counted. Now is the time we can really make a difference. If every gay conservative came out of the closet today, the journey to full equality would be over in years instead of decades. It would soon become ineffective to use gay and lesbian families as wedge issues in campaigns. The cynical efforts to amend our federal and state constitutions would eventually stop. The hypocrisy of anti-gay political tactics being used by way too many Republicans and some Democrats would be finally exposed.
One of the biggest un-kept secrets in Washington, DC, is that closeted gay Republicans are everywhere — the White House, Republican Party organizations, the halls of Congress, the most influential law offices, and the most powerful lobbying firms in our nation’s capitol. Some of those who remain closeted have chosen to be either passive bystanders or, in some cases, active critics of our movement while comfortably partaking in the fringe benefits of our community work — all the while sipping the finest martinis in our trendiest gay bars.
Coming out is an intensely personal journey. As someone who struggled long and hard with how and when to come out of the closet, I unequivocally oppose outing. I am unaware of a single forced outing that led to passage of a single piece of pro-LGBT legislation. Coming out on one’s own terms, with free will and with personal courage, is a positive catalyst for change. Forced outings don’t advance our movement. They’re motivated by vengeance.
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PFLAG Mission
- Promote the health & well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, their families & friends;
- Provide support to cope with an adverse society;
- Provide education to enlighten an ill-informed public;
- Provide advocacy to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights;
- Provide an opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation, and work to create a society that is healthy and respectful of all human beings. | Over the years, many closeted gay Republicans have discreetly and impressively helped advance equality. In spite of attacks from too many on the partisan gay left, some gay conservatives work behind the scenes to pass equality legislation, increase funding for HIV/AIDS, offer vital counsel to LGBT groups, and help defend us against anti-gay legislation. These gay conservatives have quietly come out to their bosses and colleagues — changing some into gay allies and challenging others to soften their positions over time. These individuals have been quiet heroes, not asking for or wanting public credit. Other gay Republicans, however, simply have failed to stand up — more concerned about keeping their title, their paycheck, their chance for promotion, or their chance to attend another White House cocktail party. During this moment in the culture war, we face a fight that will determine how LGBT Americans are treated for decades to come. Those who choose to be missing in action are running from the most critical fight of our generation. During these historic times, the closet is not only a place which suffocates personal dignity, it is also a place which suffocates the powerful force of personal integrity that can change the hearts and minds of even the most conservative Americans and most conservative politicians.
Coming out doesn’t have to mean putting a sticker on your car, flying a rainbow flag from your front porch, or marching in a parade. Coming out means different things to different people. It may be as simple as putting a picture of your partner on your desk at work, sharing your personal story with your boss, or speaking up when someone says something anti-gay. For others, it may be as difficult as offering a letter of resignation instead of implementing or assisting with an anti-gay campaign strategy. For many conservatives, coming out will come with real and profound sacrifice. Thankfully, we can find role models in and inspiration from a new generation of Log Cabin members who are coming out in some of America’s most conservative places, joining new Log Cabin chapters in places such as Oklahoma, Kansas, Iowa, Kentucky, New Mexico, and the Carolinas. They are coming out to family members who sometimes turn them away from the Thanksgiving dinner table if they insist on bringing their partners, in towns where they’re the only openly gay person, in traditional churches where they’ve heard intolerance from the pulpit, in high schools without gay/straight student alliances, and in workplaces where there are no protections that prevent them for being fired for simply being gay. They are the real heroes of today’s LGBT movement and they need and deserve to be given a helping hand in the days ahead.
 That helping hand needs to come from gay conservatives. We hold the key to changing the hearts and minds of fellow Republicans, conservative Democrats, and people of faith. In the not too distant future, the history books will record who had the courage to come out of the closet and lead us to victory when it mattered most. Only with the help of gay conservatives can our movement achieve victory over the radical right. Only with the help of gay conservatives can we prevent the radical right from hijacking the Republican Party. Only with the help of gay conservatives can we defeat the voices of fear and intolerance that are feverishly working to deny any and all civil recognition for gay families. The history books will note not only those who had the courage to stand up, but sadly also, those who remain silent. The time is now. Log Cabin Republicans is the nation’s largest organization of Republicans who support fairness, freedom, and equality for gay and lesbian Americans. Log Cabin has state and local chapters nationwide, a full-time Washington office, and a federal political action committee. www.logcabin.org
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To Be Better Human Beings Than We Are
By Sharon Under - For the Valley News (White River Junction, VT)
Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I’ve taken enough from you good people.
I’m tired of your foolish rhetoric about the “homosexual agenda” and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.
My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay.
He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other boys. He was called “fag” incessantly, starting when he was 6.
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Tee-Bit’s is bringing back The T-Dance
Tee-Bit’s T-Dance for womyn and friends is held every Sunday from 3:00 pm - 7:00 pm to jump start your week. There is NO COVER charge! Light snacks.hot, diverse music...the atmosphere is just right and the dress code is comfortable. Drink specials! You can dance, play pool, lounge or socialize. Don’t miss this opportunity to have fun with your favorite womyn and friends! Tee-Bit’s Café & Lounge is located at 768 Maple Avenue Hartford, CT 06114. FMI call Tee at (860) 538-9033. | In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn’t bear to continue living any longer, that he didn’t want to be gay and that he couldn’t face a life without dignity.
You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don’t know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn’t put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it’s about time you started doing that.
At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won’t get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don’t know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty that it is inborn.
If you want to tout your own morality, you’d best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did
nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I’m puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that’s not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?
A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I’ll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for “true Vermonters.”
You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn’t give their lives so that the “homosexual agenda” could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart.
He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he found out, it didn’t matter. That wasn’t the measure of the man.
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