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| October/November 2006
Vol.18, No. 6
Triangle Community Center and Carriage House Arts Center team up once again for a theatrical fundraiser
In October, theatergoers will be treated to a production of David Steven’s award winning play, “The Sum of Us,” at the Carriage House Arts Center in Norwalk’s Cranbury Park. And while enjoying the show, ticket buyers will be helping support the Triangle Community Center. This event also honors and recognizes National Coming Out Day.
Each year, TCC members Elliot Arluck and Steven Marchese team up to produce a theatrical event (this year two!) to help raise money for the Center. Earlier this year, attendees were delighted and moved by a staged reading of “When I Knew.” October’s production will be the duo’s 10th.
 “The Sum of Us” is a heartwarming, whimsical look at the relationship between a son and father. Jeff, a plumber, is gay. His father and housemate, Harry, encourages his son’s lifestyle with a hilarious enthusiasm that borders on meddlesome. Directed by Ken Sanders and produced by Elliot Arluck and Joe Guttadauro, this award-winning comedy of love was the surprise hit of the 1990 Off-Broadway season. The New York and Connecticut based cast includes: Daniel Basiletti of Yonkers, NY; Terence Keyes of Harrison, NY; Michael Limone of Stamford, CT; and Mary O’Connor of Bronx, NY.
The TCC is proud to be part of the newly renovated Carriage House Arts Center, which is concluding its successful summer season with The Sum of Us. The Carriage House Arts Center, in Cranbury Park, is located at the intersection of Kensett and Grumann Ave., Norwalk, CT. (Directions: From Route 7, north of the Merritt Parkway, turn right onto Kensett Ave. at the Wilton Diner. After 0.6 miles, Kennsett Ave. ends at the intersection of Grumman Ave. Continue straight across Grumman Ave. and into the parking lot for Cranbury Park. Bear left at the parking lot and follow the lane to the Carriage House.)
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Splinters from the Board
by David Frishkorn
It has been nearly 20 years since the first National Coming Out Day (NCOD) when half a million people marched in Washington, DC, to demand equal rights for gay and lesbian citizens. That was October 11, 1987. Since then NCOD is observed every year on October 11 with events aimed at raising awareness of and for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) community.
A lot has happened in this nearly 20 year span, but two things remain constant in this struggle for equality. The primary enemy in this battle is still ignorance and fear. And the primary weapon to combat those prejudices remains the act of ‘coming out.’
It is human nature to have a distrust or fear of that which we do not understand. Such is certainly the case with homosexuality. Since most citizens are heterosexual, there is not an easy understanding of what it is like to be gay or bi or trans. Indeed, even most of us who are LGBT have struggled with understanding who we are, what it means, and yes, even at times being fearful of the reality, which eventually we accept and embrace. We cannot and must not be judgmental of those who are against us out of ignorance. We must accept the challenge to assist them with their own awareness and education and understanding of what it means to be a non-heterosexual person. In spite of all the data, statistics, research and other evidence that shows that our sexuality is predominantly genetically pre-determined, the single best way to inspire non-LGBT people to understand and accept those who are different than them is the single and personal act of ‘coming out.’ This simply means self-identifying to someone that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. Research studies show over and over again that when someone personally knows an LGBT person, their support for equality increases dramatically.
You can ‘come out’ to a family member, a co-worker, a neighbor, a stranger on the street, or on the front page of your local newspaper. You can ‘come out’ to a single person or a crowd or your entire community. You can ‘come out’ by making a statement, introducing your life partner, flying a flag, attending a public event or taking out an advertisement. You can ‘come out’ if you are gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgendered or a supportive straight ally. You can ‘come out’ on National Coming Out Day on October 11 and you can ‘come out’ ANY TIME you see prejudice or oppression or injustice occurring. You can ‘come out’ by speaking up when someone says derogatory remarks, tells an anti-gay joke, or takes comfort in a homophobic position. You can and must ‘COME OUT’ to make the issue of gay equality real and personal and non-scary in the eyes of the unaware.
Have a happy and wonderful NCOD on October 11.
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TCC Upcoming Events
Unless otherwise noted, all events are at Triangle Community Center, 16 River St., Norwalk.
Please visit www.ctgay.org for additional TCC program details and directions.
Now that autumn has arrived, can the holidays be far away?
Before your calendar fi lls up, save the date -- Friday, December
8th, for TCC’s Annual FESTIVUS Holiday Celebration.
Judging from the growing number of attendees each year, this
event has become a favorite of TCC members and friends.
Planning is just beginning. If you would like to get involved
with this fun and fundraising event, our first meeting will
be on Tuesday, October 24, 7 pm at the Center. Contact
janistcc@sbcglobal.net.
Womyn’s Social Group
Friday, October 6, 7:00 PM - KICK OFF NATIONAL COMING OUT MONTH WITH “Come Out To Dinner”
Meet at Ambrosia Restaurant, 16 River St., Norwalk (upstairs from TCC) for an evening of good food and conversation. Directions/menu, visit www.ambrosiabarandgrill.com. Contact ml3017@hotmail.com.
Friday, November 3, 7:30 PM - “A Special Night at the Movies”
A program about women film directors by noted film connoisseur Robert Keston. Several short films made by some of the earliest women filmmakers will be shown. These women were way ahead of their time, and even today their work has a great deal to tell us. $8 special program donation requested. Contact janistcc@sbcglobal.net.
Lesbian Lit Group
Wednesday, October 18, 7:30 PM - “Keeping You Secret” by Julia Peters
Wednesday, November 15, 7:30 PM - “Inside Out” by Juliet Carrera
To receive notifications and to discuss books, join the online group at http://groups.yahoo.com/roup/TCCLitGroup/
Contact tinap73@gmail.com
Avoiding Holiday Stress Eating
Tuesday, November 14, 7:30 PM
A special TCC educational event, presented by Milton Stokes (MPH, RD, CDN). Contact miltonstokes@gmail.com.
My Pride My Soul
TCC’s social and discussion group designed specifically for Lesbian Women of Color, is suspending its monthly meetings until
January 2007. In the meantime, please join the lively conversation at the MPMS yahoo group. To join, visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mypridemysoul/
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In the neighborhood, LGBTQ activities and Events Beyond TCC
OTHER AREA GROUPS AND ORGANIZATIONS
Bare & Gay (B&G) gay nudists PeterM21@juno.com
Bread & Roses (203) 855-1485
Connecticut Freedom to Marry Coalition (203) 791-9553
Connecticut Kids (203) 256-8414
Gay Father’s Group (203) 938-2881
GLSEN (203) 332-1480
Hartford Community Center (860) 724-5542
Loft, White Plains, NY (914) 948-2932
Love Makes a Family (860) 525-7777
Married Men’s Bisexual Suppt Grp Htfd (860) 264-5605
Metropolitan Community Church of New Haven (203) 397-2312
National Runaway Switchboard (773) 880-9860
New Haven Gay & Lesbian Center (203) 387-2252
PFLAG (Danbury) (203) 797-4743
Rainbow Task Force (Unitarian Church) (203) 222-1441
SLAPHAPS (Senior Lesbians At Play Happily)
A social group for Lesbians 55 & over and their younger friends. For SLAPHAPS Schedule and INFO for August 2006 contact Kathy katslew@aol.com 203-929-8113 Linda elceeroady@comcast.net 203-606-2640
 
 
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Nutrition: Spotting a Fake
By D. Milton Stokes, MPH, RD, CDN
Have you tried FatFoe Eggplant Extract yet? If not, what are you waiting for? Take this potion and kiss your weight loss worries goodbye! Visit http://wmarket4u.net/fatfoe/ for more information.
The above paragraph is a hoax. FatFoe is bogus. In fact, it’s from a US Federal Trade Commission program designed to teach consumers how to spot nutrition quackery. (Do click on the link to see the full campaign. It’s rather convincing.)
Who isn’t looking for an easy solution for weight loss? Whether it’s the desire to burn fat while you sleep or melt 30 pounds effortlessly in 30 days, many people want help and they want it fast. The help, unfortunately, is part of a billion-dollar industry comprising some unscrupulous companies profiting from consumer need and desperation.
So how can you protect yourself? The best way is if the diet pill/product/program sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. Measure all nutrition and diet products by that standard to determine potential benefit. Then proceed with caution.
The American Dietetic Association tells consumers to be on alert for the following:
1. Recommendations that promise a quick fix.
2. Dire warnings of danger from a single product or regimen.
3. Simplistic conclusions drawn from a complex study.
4. Recommendations based on a single study.
5. Dramatic statements that are refuted by reputable scientific organizations.
6. Lists of “good” and “bad” foods.
7. Recommendations made to help sell a product.
8. Recommendations based on studies published without peer review.
9. Recommendations from studies that ignore individual or group differences.
D. Milton Stokes, MPH, RD, CDN, is a Registered Dietitian in private practice who specializes in weight management and eating disorders in Norwalk, CT. He is also a freelance writer who’s contributed to Environmental Nutrition, Today’s Dietitian, American Health and Fitness, and SlimFast.com. Visit http://www.miltonstokes.com
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Volunteer & Career Opportunities at TCC
 TCC has any number of ways for its members and the community to get involved. Please email joeguttadauro@sbcglobal.net to
lend a hand as a TCC volunteer. No prior experience is needed. We will tailor the opportunities to match your skills, availability
and interests. Come join the fun and help keep TCC the hub of activity for the LBGTQ community.
Here are some of the areas where we can use a hand:
Special Events and Programming Committee – Help plan and execute the events sponsored by TCC. Work with the committee to create new programs. The opportunities range from event planning to ticket taking. Contact brianschwartz43@optonline.net.
Communications Committee – Help create and disseminate information about TCC. Work with the committee to assure complete, accurate and consistent branding in all of the Center’s materials, including newsletter, website and correspondence.
The opportunities range from writing to media relations to production to mailings. Contact brian_klecatsky@hotmail.com
Membership and Member Relations Committee – Help care for our members, whether it is reminding them of a soon to expire
membership or greeting them at events. It matches volunteers to opportunities. Contact jenabbott@optonline.net
Wealth Committee – Help assure the fi nancial health and growth of TCC. The opportunities range from corporate sponsor
development to collecting donations at TCC events. Contact dff208@optonline.net
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 George Anderson has joined the TCC Board. While he was volunteering as the strategic planning facilitator over the past year, George was moved to sign on to be a part of an organization “that is doing such important work in our community.” We all look forward to the focus and energy that George brings to our Board.
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 Paul Clark and Brian Smith (a founding board member of Triangle Community Center) were wed on July 14th, 2006 at the Silvermine Tavern among family, friends and local political dignitaries.
News & Views is happy to announce the engagements, marriages and civil unions of our members and friends. Please email your brief announcement to tcceditor@aol.com Listings are subject to editing and space availability.
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Upcoming Meetings
We invite you to come to our monthly support meetings. We share our stories in a safe welcoming environment and promise strict confidentiality. We meet the first Wednesday of every month at 7:30 P.M. at the Triangle Community Center in Norwalk. For directions, log on to www.ctgay.org. Any questions? Call Sandy at 203-226-0257 or email her at pflagswct@yahoo.com.
PFLAG Mission
• Promote the health & well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, their families & friends;
• Provide support to cope with an adverse society;
• Provide education to enlighten an ill-informed public;
• Provide advocacy to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights;
• Provide an opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation, and work to create a society that is healthy and respectful of all human beings.
Local PFLAG Chapter to Honor Founder
PFLAG will be honoring Joan Rolnick at a dinner on Oct. 4 at 6PM at Ambosia Restaurant (before our monthly meeting at TCC at 7:30 PM). Joan and Jerry Rolnick were one of the couples that founded the SW CT PFLAG Chapter in August 1979. Back then it was called Parents of Gays (POG) and was formed here before there was a national PFLAG. They met in the United Methodist Church in Westport. Jerry passed away in March 2003; and Joan is now moving out to Missouri near one of her children. She already is in the process of forming a PFLAG chapter with a couple other people in the area where she will be living. And so her legacy goes on!!!! Joan will be missed by all of us, and we wish her well in her new home.
In Recognition of National Coming Out Day (October 11)
News & Views has borrowed the following from the PFLAG website. You can read more at http://www.pflag.org/Family_Stories.stories.0.html If you or someone you know needs help coming out, PFLAG has an extensive list of support resources at http://www.pflag.org/Getting_Support_Coming_Out.coming_out.0.html
Pride
By Tracy McClung
I never thought that I would have a daughter that was a lesbian. She certainly didn’t look like the lesbians that we see on TV. So when my beautiful 19 year old daughter called me from school at 3:30 am crying I thought she had been in a car accident or was raped. It took her a few minutes to tell me what was the problem and all I could think of was she was hurt in some way. Her pain was the coming out process and having to tell her conservative parents that she “liked girls” was very difficult to say the least.
I was so relieved in that I thought she was physically hurt. We put her mind at ease that night and reminded her that her sexual orientation does not define who she is. She still has lofty goals for her young life and is still the beautiful, funny and talented daughter that we knew the day before. As time went on we had wonderful talks about how she is so lucky to have parents who love her just the ways she is and how many friends do not have that. She told me stories of parents that disowned their children when they came out and I was shocked to hear that parents would turn their back on their children.
Now my daughter is 20 years old and putting her talent to work as a filmmaker. A producer here in Kansas saw her reel and wanted her to come and make a movie in the Kansas City area. What an opportunity for a young girl to help write, direct and edit the movie Change of Life. Most movies we see are documentaries on GLBT, but not a full feature drama about a parent child relationship.
Change of Life is a story about a bigoted conservative minister whose lesbian daughter commits suicide on the air of his radio show. After he curses God he wakes up in a gay man’s body and discovers intolerance and hate. Time is then changed and he finally gets to know his daughter on a different level. This was a real eye opener for me in that I have come across prejudice and ignorance about homosexuality because of this film. I am so glad to have this experience working with my daughter on this socially important film.
Every parent (Everybody) needs to see it.
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